Me, Myself and Mom

     Me, Myself and Mom an Update to where we are now, in a nut shell that says it all.  A lot has been going on lately and I’ve been blogging about other stuff more than I have about, well us.  Not saying I haven’t posted anything its just I know there’s a lot I haven’t written about and I feel I need to, if you don’t mind?  Awhile ago I blogged about mom being switched off her anti-depressant because it wasn’t doing anything for her, in fact she was getting worse to the point I was starting to get worried.  Since them she has gone through the phase off of – phase onto her new medicine which we were told it could take 2-4 weeks before the medicine took full effect.  In fact it was more like 4-5 days.  I first started hearing her sound more alive when we spoke on the phone and even when we drove to Travis AFB for her appointments, she didn’t have to try to make herself feel good she actually was sounding and looking better.  She took her cardiologist’s advice and got back out into the world and started back to her TOPS (Taking Pounds Off Sensibly) and started back to volunteering at her church and going to her sewing group. YEA MOM!!  Since then she has also been admitted for edema (excess body fluid) which they gave her a IV Lasix which is used to remove excess water along with high doses Potassium.  It took four days before they released her and right off she took Taffy (her baby) back so she would be forced to get out and walk, which will help with her edema issue.  She still is seeing the psychiatrist to make sure the dosage of her anti-depressant is OK and that it will not interfere with her current regimen of medicines (14 at last count).  She is actually talking about joining a biker church to help pack box’s of food for the homeless and she is back to making blankets for the Children’s Receiving Home and has started going back to church after almost 2-1/2 months.  She’s trying and pushing herself and that’s a good, no great thing.  For now all we can do is watch, take notes, confirm the medicines are doing their job, watch her weight to make sure it doesn’t increase by more than 3 lbs a day or 12 lbs in a week and then pray everything stays within the numbers the doctor gave us.

     As for me, things are go OK I guess.  I am getting older, just found out I have “High Frequency Mild Hearing Loss” which they say is due to either shooting weapons or being near aircraft engines.  Well yea, almost thirty years ago when I was a flight line police officer in the Air Force.  This apparently can happen at anytime or never, mine just decided to happen now along with my eye sight issues.

 “Getting Older does not mean you have to Feel or Act Older” 

– Kreisler

Any how, I have days (5%-10%) where my own depression jumps out and wants to make itself known and other times I just stay home and do nothing or do just the minimal amount of what needs to be done, such as laundry, dish’s and the work phone.  For the majority (90%-95%) of days I can function without any major issues, although I always have a lot of minor ones.  Of course taking the Cymbalta helps a lot.  Trish (my wife) and I recently had a conversation where she mentioned that in my dark period, there were days where she would come home from work and all the blinds were pulled, lights off and there I would be doing what it was I was doing.  On weekends she said I would be closing blinds and she would be right there opening them back up.  Those were not my best days or my proudest moments.  I have a lot of things helping me to stay on the straight and narrow and by changing anyone of those would put me and Trish back into the “Dark Ages.”  I added Trish to that last sentence because as caregivers you when it comes to pretty much any long-term medical issue that involves depression, anger and medications what ever issues the patient is going through, their families are having to go through it also.                                                                                                                                                                                  

     I will be the first to admit, “There’s a whole lot of crap going on” here and I just so happen to be one of the lucky ones.  In my recent blog post, “What’s in your Caregivers Toolbox?”  I put spouse, parents, kids and family at the top of the list, well mine were over achievers and in my toolbox they were in every drawer or cabinet I could find.  I know my doctors, Fat Albert (my Internal Pain Management Pump), the medication, psychologist, back brace and more had something to do with it but when you break it down the one tool, link in the chain, cog in the machine that kept me going was my family.  There were times when I could have slept alone or not had anyone there when I got home at night.  I would even dare say, been divorced but for some reason, which eludes me to this day, they all stood firm and helped me get through it all.  I had good days and I also had really bad days and I know it’s no excuse but I know for a fact that if I had been on the pain management regimen I’m on now and had the pain management team I have today, those days would never have happened.  The moral of the story here is, keep your doctors close and your family closer because one day you will need them, well at least your family.  Now who has the pick up?

     What were your dark days like and did you have help?  What did you do to get through them?  I would really like to hear your stories and I’m sure someone out there may need the same bit of inspiration to get over their bump in the road.  Feel free to contact me directly if you don’t want to post here and I will keep your information private.

– Kreisler     

“Pain without Humor is just Painful” 

PickYourPain@att.net