Is it really, 3:52am?

     OMG, it is, it is really 3:52 am!!  Well this is another pain about chronic pain, you never know when its going to want to wake up and of course wake you with it.  I woke up with what felt like two drops of saline fluid on my cheek and what felt like an 50 lb anvil being dropped on my back and in the faint distance what sounded like life laughing and saying, “It’s been 20 years, today’s the day you break.”   All I could think to do was exactly the same as the last 350-400 times this has happened, get up, put one foot in front of the other and kick life in the proverbial arss and go through with an attitude of  humor (laughter truly is the best medicine) , respect, dedication, love and keep the my arms and legs in the vehicle at all times on this ride called life and try and help others dealing with chronic pain see that pain is painful, but it’s how you deal with and if you accept the pain that will determine how the rest of your life is going to go.

     What I mean is, if you are in chronic pain or pain of any amount, disabled, depressed (which I am) in a wheelchair no matter what, it all depends on how if you decide to “LIVE LIFE” or if you just decide to “BE IN YOUR LIFE” that will determine what quality of life you are going to have.   You can go along with the cards you’ve been dealt lets say a pair of twos, and you just accept that the minimal day to day life is what you have available to you, nothing more only less.  Or you can turn in some of those cards and try for the Royal Flush and “ACCEPT” what you have and what you now are.  Agreed, you have a disability or disabilities, you still have a functional part of life, in life.  You can still touch, see, hear, taste, smell, you may have to do some of this from a wheelchair, laying in a bed or even missing a limb, you may even be depressed and I’m not trying to take that away, I’m trying to get you to wake up at 3:52am and realize “I may not be able to do what I use to or what everyone else may be able to, but there is a lot I still can do.”  I’m depressed and have been for 20 years plus, I can’t do anywhere  near what I use to be able to do, I require oral narcotics a slew of other medications as well as medicine being pumped into my spine, I can’t even mow my yard in on run it now takes three sometimes four runs at it, I can’t golf or bowl or do bumper cars with my kids anymore, heck I can’t even go to Disneyland anymore with a wheelchair for my wife to push me around in.  But you know what, I use the disability ramp when we go bowling (it’s been awhile) or we rent a mobile scooter when we go to the state fair,  yea I can’t do bumper cars but there is still a lot of other stuff I can do and will do.


     Be like every able bodied person and write out a “To Do List” and on it put down thing you know you can do and want to do and also put down thing you want to do but know you can’t.  Non-disabled people have dreams and hopes and lists of thing they want to do but know inside they will not get to, so why can’t we?  I have a forum on, under the “Group” tab and it’s named, “101 Things to do.”  It is for lack of a better term your, bucket list.  Each Friday I said I will be adding five (5) new things I would like to do before my time comes.  Now I know for a fact that I will never get to do a lot of the things I’ve listed but they are all things I’ve always wanted to do, many of them came about before I was even twenty, but they will remain on my list.  I encourage you to live you life to the fullest, see and do as much as you can with the new hand you’ve been dealt and if you don’t win that hand, put down another $5 chip and play another hand.  Never give up, Never say quit and as the saying goes, “It’s not about the seven times you get knocked down, It’s about the eighth time you stood back up.”  Life is to short, don’t let it go to waste.  / : ^{ ) >

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