I have been off-line for a few days with a minor stomach bug 
and just yesterday felt up to taking mom to her Cardiologist and Pace Maker check up appointments down at Travis AFB a 105 minute trip which includes picking her up, then last night I had a friendly neighborhood virus attack my PC and caused a complete “CRASH” requiring a full MS Recovery and reload of all programs.
Recently mom has had some issues with her depression and the medications that were being prescribed were doing nothing so the psychiatrist decided that since it was such a “mega low dose” that they would double up on it and that would, no should take care of it. Now for the past several weeks (2 weeks, 1 day to be exact) mom has slept and I kid you not, 18-20 hours a day with the remaining time being made up of maybe an hour at a time (at most) slots for facilities, food and medications. It is so bad that my older brother (aka: Mark) came up a few weekends ago to visit and did not mention to mom he was planning to, the reason is she would have told him to not come up and if you do, don’t stop by. So he drives up from San Francisco, which took him 2 hrs. 27 min., meet my younger brother (aka: Jimmy) at mom’s who after sleeping 14+ hours, woke up had a cup of tea, said hello and then went right back to bed, only 30 minutes after she woke up. This occurred again this past weekend when the three of us boys got together for a local hardware stores annual parking lot sale. Since it is right by mom’s we all meet there and took one car over to the sale. Before we noticed that mom needed a little extra help with the dish’s, sweeping and mopping, not much. Now I have to admit I don’t have a medical degree, nor have I attended med school and dropped out for some reason, but I do know sleeping that much “Is Not Normal.” I was able to get mom to promise me that on her weekly visit to her psychologist that she would ask about her anti-depressant and possible
side effects and if they would cause this amount of tiredness? From what I’m being told, she did in fact go to her appointment but did not ask she is going to wait for her psychiatrist to call her back, her 1st call into her was ten days ago and again 6 days ago. Somethings not right here, what psychiatrists office takes that long to call a patient back? That’s like calling 911 and being placed on hold. On top of the possible medicine side effects, excessive sleeping, there is also an issue of mom rescheduling doctors appointments with varying degrees of urgency and not just once or twice but trice and not telling anyone she had done such until the night or even the day after and four calls into her voice mail. Yes this does sound like a “Vent” blog and I will admit in part it is, you see I care about my mom very much and it is a concern due to her sister passed away about 3-4 years ago and was doing the same things, cancelling, re-scheduling, not going to appointments, not following doctors orders and so on. Her sister was to the point they had to amputate her foot and then the lower leg because she didn’t follow directions. I don’t want mom to get anywhere near that point.
When I finally reached her after leaving four messages and I found out she had re-scheduled one particular appointment (2nd time) and she was telling me that, “Oh it’s re-scheduled for Friday at 12:30.” I paused and returned with, “OK, then I’m picking you up at 11:30 and will have you there in time.” She sort of snapped at me when she replied, “No, No you’re not. Susie is going to take me right after we’re done over at church.” Another pause, “Well then once we’re done talking my next call is to Susie to confirm.” Mom came back with, “Go right ahead.” And with that I still was not 100% sure it was happening. You see the issue is not that I don’t fully trust her, I don’t, we have all heard this in the past where she doing or done something with Susie and when we speak with Susie, she knows nothing about it. I did confirm with Susie afterward, yet at first she stated they were doing church and nothing else. The reason for not mentioning the xyz appointment was she didn’t know how much mom had told us. I had to express my concern to Susie that she would hold back information, when the past 2-3 times this same thing has happened mom and Susie both have said, “No More, at least you Richard need to know.” You think, for one I have the Power of Attorney (POA), so in case something major happens I’m there or at least not floored when she’s already in the hospital (or worse) and Susie drove her and didn’t say anything. Susie has agreed to call me once mom heads into the back at Fridays appointment. With regard to the medication interactions, if that’s what it is. I am contacting both her psychologist and psychiatrist to tell them of the excessive sleeping habits and ask that they at least discuss it at mom’s nest appointment or have her come in sooner if it might be a serious issue. Each of there needed to be handled as soon as possible and hopefully next time they will be faster than this time.
The last item that needed to be discussed with mom and maybe could have waited, but enclosed car, ninety plus minute drive home, why not and that is mom eventually moving in with us. We first talk about how well both her appointments went, pat, pat and then I stated, “OK mom first off you know we all love you and care so very much about you and your health, right?” I 
did in fact get a quick “Yea!” Then the next item to discuss is, over the past several months you know we’ve talked about you moving in with us, “when it gets to the point you need help,” and you’ve taken it jokingly. You also know we have looked at homes that have 4-5 bedrooms, office or den and even several with a mother’s quarters (Kitchenette, Living room, Bed room and its own bath attached to main house). Mom nods at me. I continue, Then knowing we care so much we would prefer that when you get to where you need extra help that you move in with us and not a living facility. You will have a room of your own if not even two, or a mothers quarters and until you move in those rooms will be used for offices, or craft rooms, something, then when it that time, their yours. No wait, we are calling those rooms, Taffy Quarters (mom’s 8 lb. Schist Tzu dog) and if Taffy decides she wants to bring you, then you’re welcome. At this point she’s about ready to cry and saying how sweet it is and she would like a little time to think about it, but is very thankful for the thought. Now a month ago just the mention of, “we’re looking at homes” would have brought a fast, “No, I’m not moving in. I am going into a facility as to not be a burden on anyone.” I ended this conversation with once again explaining that it would not be until, “She Needed Help, period.” Maybe involving her in the house hunting, taking her to see a couple will ease her into agreeing to move in and if not, it is her choice. I may not like her last choice but I do realize that I do have to respect it. From this recent conversation it feels as if she is starting to realize that eventually the day will come when she will need to make a decision and I think she would like to be the one to make it and not have it need to be made by us boys. Happy thoughts, Happy Hearts!!
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