Mom and Her Secrets

     I received a call from my Aunt Susie on Saturday regarding my mom and some medical issues she is having and has yet to tell me or my brothers about.  In the past she has had to get both knees replaced, with the right one done twice due to she twisted it stepping up onto a curb, which tweaked the new knee (6 months old).  They ended up having to replace it due to the amount of damage.  We know that over the past 1-1/2 years she has fallen when walking Taffy once and another time in her kitchen, but we were never told of any damage to the knee(s).  Okay back to the call from Aunt Susie, apparently mom tells her way more about her spills then she does us boys and Susie wanted to make sure I knew that mom mentioned that she has the better relationship with me but she still has kept several medical issues from a secret from me.  

     The story goes that mom apparently took another spill and really messed up her knee and because this is the third time she has to go see a knee specialist, a normal knee doctor or the doctor who has taken care of and did her other three surgeries will not do.  Come to find out she has an appointment with said specialist today, when exactly I do not know.  Mom was her recently for our families September’s Birthday party and looked in pain but of course she denied it and it was noticeable that her knee was giving her trouble, again denied.  On Saturday afternoon I called her and asked if she wanted to go get coffee and I was told that she was waiting for Susie to arrive so they could go to church.  We spoke for about 15 minutes and she then said, that Susie had just pulled up and she needed to run.  Not 30 minutes later is when Susie called and I asked her if she just dropped mom off or what?  She asked what I was talking about, I explained myself and her response floored me.  Basically it was, “What are you talking about, me and mom don’t have church today.”  WHAT?  This is when she expressed the issue of the knee, mom’s relationship with me and more.  Susie at time is manic and then switches into depression so I take about 4/5’s of what is said with a grain of salt.

My questions now are:

     1) Does mom have a General Practitioner (GP) appointment today (10/7) or does she have a knee specialist appointment?  

 2) Should she be driving (Issue One)?  The bad knee is the right one which controls the gas and brake.

     3) Does she need surgery?  If so, what is her recover time

     4) Why is mom hiding her medical issues from us? Does she thing we don’t need to know?

     5) What other issues has she been keeping from us that we should know about?

There are other questions I’m sure if I took the time to go through my head and pull them out.  This is so frustrating because I thought our (mom and me) relationship was closer than this.  I understand she may feel like she is being a burden, or stepping on our time, but she should also know that we would rather have her make it to the hospital, safe and not in dire pain from driving to the hospital with a damaged knee.  Alright I’ll say it, I just want her to make it to the hospital.  The car she is driving was new-used and had “NO” damage when she purchased it 3 years ago, now there is not one quarter panel, hood, trunk lid or other that does not have a dent, ding, kick, scrape or rock chip in it.  You could say it looks as if it went through a demolition derby.  The explanation for the doors are some one must have opened their doors to quick in the parking lot causing the 2.5″ indentation in both back doors.  The front doors were scrapped when someone pulled into the spots next to her and took the tight turn to quick and scrapped her.  I know the car is her independence but how do you help someone who won’t tell you when they are in need of help?  How do you explain to a 70 year old with no mental issues, she’s 100% there that her medical issues are serious and need to be addressed when they happen and not when she decides to tell you, which is usually the day before and then it is an issue?  

     I’ll just keep trying, for now it is the best I can do.  / : ^{ ) > Namaste’

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