August 2013

Oh Where Oh Where has my joyful mom gone…..

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Oh Where Oh Where has My Joyful Mom Gone…

Mom has been battling depression, although mild depression none the less for going on 4-5 years now and she has not until only the past few months admitted it openly and arrived to the point where she’s actually mentioned it to her cardiac care nurse and her GP.  The reason I mention the cardiac care nurse practitioner (NP) is that when mom was told by Dr. Pratt, (cardiac surgeon & amazing doctor) that he would not even attempt the double valve replacement on her until they were able to get some of the water weight off her did she kick it into overdrive and fought through pain and low salt/no salt diets to lose 54 lbs in a matter of 4 – 41/2 months.  This drop in weight brought about a more active, vibrant, happy person.

Bathroom Scale

     After mom spoke with her GP, cardiac NP, neurologist, kidney doctor, psychologist and after completing all the various tests that a anti-depressant could be started.  See, mom has so many medical issues that affect each other in different ways that these departments had to be in the loop (and agree) to ensure that mom was placed on the correct anti-depressant and that it did not interact negatively with all her other medicines.  The reason I’m writing about this in my pain blog is you need to know my mom, she has always been the lively one, the jokester, the one that was always throwing all us kids and our friends in the car and head off to the lake or the local putt putt, even taking 8-9 rowdy kids on a two-hour drive to the amusement park for the day or to the drive in.  Very rarely did I see my mom in a slump (unless dad was here).  So to see her not want to get up and to only do so because she has to walk Taffy or has to get to an appointment is very painful and mom if your reading this I am not saying this to make you feel bad I am doing this for me.  I have helped my mom in every which way I can think of and I know she has been depressed here and there, I would mention it to her and make suggestions here and there but did not push it.  With my family or I should say my mom and her brothers and sisters, if you upset someone enough you could be shunned, locked out, phone number lost, name forgotten (OK not that far) and I have such a close relationship with mom (#1 Son) since I became her caregiver, I don’t want to lose that.  But then again….

If I don’t say something, I don’t push, then what?  Lucky this last time when mom said she would see the psychologist, without me and that she would go along with her recommendations I was 25/75 that she would follow through with it.  She did, She did follow through with it.  Mom was informed that taking the anti-depressant (Cymbalta) is not an immediate fix and that it can take 4-6 weeks to see results, in some it can cause insomnia and others possible excessive sleepiness.  So we discussed this over breakfast one morning and she understood all the side effects, she’s seen me go through all of them because I also take Cymbalta.  We are now going into the end of week one and she is showing signs of the later of the two symptoms and has decided to combat through this by signing up for volunteer positions at her church, re-started a TOPS (Taking Pounds Off Sensibly) group, has joined a knitting group and she is making blankets for the local Children’s Receiving Home, so pretty much everyday in the morning she has something that forces her to get up walk and feed Taffy then off to her daily event on top of her Coumadin blood tests, doctors appointments, lunch or coffee with her sister or me.  It may not be a medically prescribed way of combating depression but its mom’s way.

             REMEMBER, NOT EVERYONE WITH DEPRESSION REQUIRES PHARMACEUTICALS 

 For me as long as I see her semi busy and not talking about sleeping all day or I see and hear that happy person we all know and love talking to me from across the table, I’ll see it as an improvement.  But I would like to warn everyone, if you do see or hear your brother, sister, mom, dad, boyfriend, etc. in the people you love, start asking them questions, see what their feeling”  What have their days/nights been like?  What are their thoughts about depression and possibly seeing someone?   It does make most one’s recovery quicker when you talk with a medical professional about what is going on.  If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms such as, feeling sad, helpless, uninterested in favorite activities, dark thoughts or keeps to themselves when not normal, please visit a medical professional for a check up to see if they can help.  Or even just mention it to a loved one, a close friend or teacher.  Depression is not uncommon and it can be treated,  remember your not alone.

 

        Admitting you have a problem is the first step then the second, is asking for help.

First Step Staircase

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